The Ballad of Ugly Mike

This may be a quality way to waste time.

Ugly Mike lives in a crapsack world populated by deformed mutants with diminished intelligence. Something got into the water a long time ago, affecting absolutely everyone living in the area. The damaage is now completely irreversable, and enough time has gone on that no one remembers a time before this. Now, the inhabitants struggle to read and perform basic mathematics.

Ugly Mike longs for the sensual touch of a maiden, and ventures out of his underground cave to find love.