Lame Jokes lamejokes@identi.ca

• 2013-07-10T19:00:07+00:00 via Net::Twitter To: Public

  "You want what on the fucking ceiling?" -- Michaelangelo

• 2013-07-10T15:00:06+00:00 via Net::Twitter To: Public

  I'm busier than a one-legged Riverdancer.

  Susan Pinochet likes this.

• 2013-07-10T08:00:05+00:00 via Net::Twitter To: Public

  What do you call a parrot wearing a raincoat? Polly unsaturated.

• 2013-07-09T19:00:07+00:00 via Net::Twitter To: Public

  To be intoxicated is to feel sophisticated but not be able to say it.

• 2013-07-09T15:00:05+00:00 via Net::Twitter To: Public

  Why are proctologists so gloomy? They always have the end in sight.

• 2013-07-09T08:00:06+00:00 via Net::Twitter To: Public

  So I went to the dentist. He said "Say Aaah." I said "Why?" He said "My dog's died.'

• 2013-07-08T19:00:08+00:00 via Net::Twitter To: Public

  "Waiter, I say, there are two ears in my soup." Waiter: "Eh?"

  Carlos Solís likes this.

  Carlos Solís shared this.

• 2013-07-08T15:00:04+00:00 via Net::Twitter To: Public

  Iguana: The other green meat.

• 2013-07-08T08:00:06+00:00 via Net::Twitter To: Public

  Anorexia is a serious issue but, let's face it, the problem isn't getting any bigger.

• 2013-07-07T19:00:08+00:00 via Net::Twitter To: Public

  I wish my lawn was emo, so it would cut itself.

• 2013-07-07T15:00:05+00:00 via Net::Twitter To: Public

  Q: In a lesbian relationship, who makes who the sandwich? A: No-one. Everybody knows lesbians eat out

• 2013-07-07T08:00:06+00:00 via Net::Twitter To: Public

  Q: How do you tell an introverted computer scientist from an extroverted one? The extroverted one looks at *your* shoes while talking.

• 2013-07-06T19:00:09+00:00 via Net::Twitter To: Public

  I suffer from CDO. It's like OCD, but all the letters are in the right order. Like they should be.

• 2013-07-06T15:00:07+00:00 via Net::Twitter To: Public

  I used to work with a bald headed geezer who had tattoos of Rabbits all over his head. From a distance they look like hares.

• 2013-07-06T08:00:08+00:00 via Net::Twitter To: Public

  Wise man say: A skilled troll is a master baiter.

• 2013-07-05T19:00:06+00:00 via Net::Twitter To: Public

  Did you hear about the prawn that went to a nightclub? He pulled a mussel.

• 2013-07-05T15:00:05+00:00 via Net::Twitter To: Public

  What kind of lettuce did they serve on the Titanic? Iceberg.

• 2013-07-05T08:00:06+00:00 via Net::Twitter To: Public

  Don't steal, the government doesn't like the competition

• 2013-07-04T19:00:07+00:00 via Net::Twitter To: Public

  Pollytheism n.: the belief that God is a parrot.

• 2013-07-04T15:00:05+00:00 via Net::Twitter To: Public

  I just got skylights put in my place. The people who live above me are furious.

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