Any GNOME 3 users out there have recommendations for handling chat programs and notifications?

With a few extensions, I've come to really enjoy GNOME 3, but the one experience that's still lousy is chat (XMPP or IRC). With Empathy, Pidgin, or Hexchat, I feel like the messaging menu doesn't work the same way that the old system tray style notifications used to work. It's so easy to miss notifications if you're not watching the screen. I find that I'm either compulsively checking the open applications, or more often I just simply don't use chat programs frequently any more because that compulsive checking is too distracting.

I'd love to be able to leave the programs open and have confidence that I'll see if there are messages waiting without having to check. Any suggestions for applications or extensions or ways of handling those notifications for XMPP / IRC in GNOME 3?