@Charles Stanhope unfortunately the epiphany got interrupted because Asgard carded me (despite the fact that @bkuhn suspects me to be even older than he is) and all I had with me was a temporary Massachusetts driver's license which, as the 'helpful' Asgard bouncer pointed out, was by its own declaration "not valid for identification". Ironically I received my permanent Massachusetts driver's license that very day, but wasn't home to receive it because I went to LibrePlanet.