@aether: I think unfortunately the outlook you describe isn't what some of us actually experience. I know what @bkuhn is talking about here. I think he is thinking in part of me when he speaks of "people getting treated in pretty painful ways" (I hope that is not wishful thinking, or the opposite of wishful thinking, on my part). I would love to be able to say "you know, who cares about them, I can be friends with all the outsiders" but life, for me, just hasn't been that easy.

@bkuhn: I think there is a problem of juvenilism in much of what I see in the worlds I inhabit (which intersect with the worlds you inhabit). I don't quite understand it nor do I really know what can be done about it.
 
I think you may be describing two different things, though. There's a culture of juvenilism which I certainly see permeating FLOSS culture in many of its aspects, and a culture of gossipping (whihc I see permeating FLOSS in some of its peripheral aspects, at least).